Domestic Violence & Safety
You are not alone. And you have options.
Whatever you decide to do — leave, stay, plan, wait — it is your decision. This page lists hotlines, shelters, and money-and-paperwork steps. The exit button at the top of the page takes you to weather.com fast.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
24 hours, every day. Free. Confidential. Translators in over 200 languages. Text START to 88788. Online chat at thehotline.org.
If you need to leave today
Call the hotline first. They can find a shelter near you and help you plan the next 24 hours. Shelters are free, confidential, and don't ask for ID up front.
Today
Call 1-800-799-7233. They can find an open shelter and help you plan getting there safely.
This week
Open a bank account in your name only. Make copies of important documents. Tell one trusted person.
Money and paperwork — steps that protect you
Financial abuse — controlling money, keeping accounts in someone else's name, ruining credit on purpose — is a recognized form of abuse. Recovering from it is a real process and there is help.
Open accounts in your own name
A bank account, a phone plan, an email address only you have. These are the foundations of a separate financial life. The hotline can connect you with financial-empowerment programs that walk you through it step by step.
Pull your credit report
Free at annualcreditreport.com. Look for accounts opened in your name without your knowledge. Identity theft within an abusive relationship is treated as identity theft and can be disputed.
Make copies of documents
Driver's license, Social Security card, birth certificate (yours and the kids'), passports, marriage certificate, lease or deed, insurance cards, recent pay stubs. Keep copies somewhere safe — a trusted friend, a locker at work, a small bank safety deposit box, or the shelter once you arrive.
Legal protections
An order of protection (also called a restraining order) is a court order telling the abuser to stay away. It's free to file, and most courts have an advocate who helps you fill out the papers. You don't need a lawyer to file. Domestic violence legal services are available in every state — the national hotline can connect you.
If you have children
Bringing children to a shelter is normal and welcome. Most shelters have programs specifically for kids. You do not lose custody by going to a shelter — in fact, leaving a dangerous home strengthens your case. Talk to a domestic violence legal advocate before any custody hearing.
Where to get help
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→ How to leave when you don't have any money — a survival-money starter list